How Your Peeps Impact Your Progress

“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”

That’s what John Donne said in his poem. Extrapolate that to all genders and you have a very important principle about success (in life and business); no one does it alone.

Not once, in the history of time, did one person accomplish what they did without other people. And, if it’s true that you are the sum of the people you spend the most time with (in this context, “your peeps"), why is that so?

Let’s explore.

What “people who are good for you” do for you

I was recently introduced to Harriet Lerner’s The Dance of Fear and I loved the description of the good people in our lives:

“The good people in our lives inspire us, encourage us, cheer us on, advise us, help us to strategize & figure out the first step, remind us of our own potentialities & possibilities.”

This is what certain people do for us. Again for the sake of this post, I’d like to call them “peeps”.

Let’s take a look at each of these pillars to see WHY it’s so important to experience these things to move forward (in the right direction).

Being (and staying) Inspired

Just take a second to think about the type of action that you take when you are inspired vs. not inspired.

I’m immediately thinking of all of the work I did in my corporate career I was indifferent about. Social media posts were one of them. Guess what happened when I posted from a place of apathy…

Little engagement.

Because why would I get rewarded with engagement when I didn’t put anything into it?

Now look at something you do when you’re inspired.

Even in the same activity (posting on social media), when I am excited about something I have to say, and I say it, I feel great about it. Even IF it doesn’t get any engagement (it normally gets MORE) it feels WORTH the time.

When the people you surround yourself with create a space where you can get and stay inspired, your performance increases. You feel better about your contribution, and by default make a greater contribution (because it feels like fun, and not like work).

What we’re encouraged to do, we continue to do

Let’s use some examples here again.

In my corporate career, I was often encouraged to work late, get projects done with little notice and direction, and troubleshoot fast solutions, and was celebrated for doing so. Even though I wouldn’t have chosen to do those things, that was what I learned was the “right” thing to do. And I was rewarded with raises and promotions; all the things we’re taught to want in a career.

The problem is, that encouragement led straight to burnout. Not just for me, but for so many of my colleagues.

Since starting my own business, I’ve had more control over the people I surround myself with. People who want to encourage me to do the things that are in alignment with my personal brand.

This type of encouragement not only allows me to thrive in my tasks, but also in the person I’m BEING. They encourage me to be myself when the world can make it feel hard. Which allows me a space to BE me. A space to practice that so I can still use the skill when I’m in a space that ISN’T built for that. I get to learn to stand up for myself, and without those people around me, it would be WAY harder.

Your Cheering Section

This one makes me think of my parents.

When I was a teenager, I played competitive fastball. My mom made sure that my entire family had shirts that matched our uniforms, and they had all the noise makers and foam fingers to show their support.

Like any other teenager, it embarrassed me at the time ;)

And now, I appreciate it more.

Why?

Because as individuals, we aren’t great at celebrating ourselves. When we surround ourselves with people who ARE good at celebrating us, it reminds us to do so. And this helps us build confidence in our personal brands. And when we’re more confident in our personal brands, we progress on our path faster.

Good Advice is Rarer Than Rubies

I love this quote from Salman Rushdie, because it’s true.

Advice can be found everywhere. But generally the people who are giving it to you don’t care about you.

Read that again.

The people who are giving it to you don’t care about YOU.

They care about themselves. What they’ve experienced. What they want. What they’re trying to sell.

But GOOD advice that comes from the people who honor your personal brand is different.

It’s based on the above three things:

- Advice that inspires you

- Advice that encourages you

- Advice that cheers you on

And it’s important because, with these three things in mind, seeing things from someone else’s perspective allows you new ways to see the situation. And for what reason?

To find YOUR OWN WAY.

Which is why it’s so critical to your progress.

Then Comes Strategy (first steps, and more)

First of all, I want you to notice how far down the list strategy comes. It is ON the list, so it’s not that it’s NOT important, but all of the other pieces are MORE important.

Strategy comes when it’s times to DO THINGS.

And until you can figure out what YOU want to do, strategy doesn’t matter.

Once you’re at that point, there are literally THOUSANDS of strategies for any given thing.

Just choosing one isn’t the point.

Choosing one that supports all the previous pieces is the point.

And when the people around you know your WHY, they can more easily support your strategy.

And most importantly, hold you ACCOUNTABLE to your path.

Remind us of our own potentialities and possibilities

The most important piece here is that it’s not about ALL potentialities and possibilities. It’s about OUR potentialities and possibilities.

The world at large is always trying to communicate to us THE potentialities and possibilities. Which can make our list of choices overwhelming. Ever felt that?

If you said no, you’re a liar ;)

OUR potentialities and possibilities are based on who we are and the difference we want to make. And when you surround yourself with people who are invested in you making THAT difference, you can more easily focus on your goals.

You can more easily MAKE YOUR DIFFERENCE.

Which is what it’s all about when it comes to progress.

We’re not out to make progress for the sake of progress.

I never thought I’d have reason to quote Professor Delores Umbridge from the Harry Potter series, but it makes total sense here:

Progress, for the sake of progress, must be discouraged.

Finding Your Peeps

It’s not always the easiest to find the people who can meet these criteria. For me, it definitely wasn’t at work. And social media can be SO overwhelming with so many people NOT being authentic.

But when you LEAD with your personal brand, you get to connect with the people who can do this for you. The people who not only care about your progress, but care about YOU.

And that’s the gold.

If you’re looking for a place to start, the Your Business Peeps Community might be a good fit. Let’s chat about it :)